Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Gratitude, Healing Lyme, Moving On


Hello! 
Before I share the exciting news of my upcoming relaunch of my design business, my seriously fabulous new logo and some inspiring new design projects I’m working on, I felt compelled to share my story of healing and gratitude with you. Though the chapter has been closed for a while now I felt prompted to wrap up what I learned from my illness. I wanted to give the honor and gratitude where it is due. So, before I tell you about some fabulous new projects, like the one for the Los Angeles County Mayors Office, Crisis Response Team project, let me tell you this: 

“I am healed from Lyme Disease,” I say confidently, aloud.
I speak confidently, because I believe there is great power in the spoken word. 
I’d be lying however, if I didn’t  share that almost every time I say them, I pause, in my mind.  I trust God that I am a constant work in progress, always healing, always learning, and always growing. That enemy fear  is always trying to poke his unwelcome spirit in.  So, I declare and I decree in my sweet and strong voice that I am healed.

I’ve had this story ready to share for almost a year. Yet, there was certain factual details that the check in my spirit said do not share. My mind battled. Why not? Over this weekend, at the Healing Conference, there was a story about a bell that resonated deep in my soul. As the pastor shared, I realized why I was not released to share my story.  God showed me it was because certain particular details were irrelevant to the story.  It was profound revelation, followed by so much revelation of what had not been relevant in my life, all along. So, I’ll share my story, with joy and without those irrelevant details.

I’ll keep the details of the illness short.  I felt sick, with migraines, dizziness*, etc., thyroid issues, tired, as if I was dying, gaining weight for three years, despite an organic, healthy, grain free diet. They found a pineal cyst and an empty sella turcica, in my brain. All incidental findings, but  required an  MRI every 6 months for a year.  Three other factors made it very lonely.  It was my sons junior and senior year in High School.  I wanted to be fully present. His senior year events, even graduation, that I was able to attend were  marked by my ducking out, avoiding eye contact and conversation, as I just couldn’t make small talk. I felt bone dead tired, the kind that defies adequate description. One of my best friends was dying of cancer. (two very dear friends had serious cancer) I did not want to share much, because I didn’t want to take any loving attention away from her nor my son’s celebrating in his senior year.  She is with Jesus now and I miss her.  Lastly, I had no diagnosis for the first two years of illness, despite thirty doctors visits, until I found Dr. R*. He listened to me, suspecting Lyme Disease. The tests confirmed it eight days later, the day before Justin’s High School Graduation.  

The year before I was diagnosed there was a doctor  who was trying to burn down my husbands dental practice.  I didn’t know if it was personal, nor if he was going to come to the house and try to burn our house down too.  Due to the active investigation, I was not able to share that with anyone. During his arrest, an illegal silencer was found in his home. The day when he was released on bail I was having a very elaborate alarm system installed with 9 motion cameras on all outside areas, which by the way, I do not find humorous.  Scott was on the way out of town to go skiing with friends in Mammoth. I had an allergic reaction and ended up in the ER, my eye swelling shut. Thank God for my dear friend Marta who met me at the hospital where we just began to laugh at my year, and my eye. 

The same year, before I was diagnosed, feeling like I was dying or going crazy, one of the two, we were on a boat returning from Catalina Island with my family. We encountered  about ten or twenty whales about half mile out who were spouting, majestic and beautiful.  We watched them frolic for about half an hour and then I said, in all seriousness, "I'm going to pray that they come closer.” My cousin just started laughing.  The men followed suit and began laughing somewhat uproariously, that I would pray for such a silly thing. My cousin said, “You don’t think God has anything better to do than to bring the whales closer?”  He just laughed and laughed.  I explained, “God cares about showing us how much he loves us and that he hears our prayers.”  So, they laughed harder.  My dad joked, while laughing hilariously, to tell God, “Send two whales!  Tell God you want one on the port side of the boat and one starboard side.”  To which they all crazy laughed. If you can imagine me rolling my eyes here, please imagine. 

So, I knew God would hear my prayers and bring the whales closer, so I went below to spend an hour in prayer. Immediately as I sat down to pray, loud, shrieking and screaming began. I cannot describe the sounds of their screams. I was scared, thinking my little 3 or 5 year old niece or nephew had fallen over, as the shrieks weren’t anything I had ever heard before. I ran up top to see two whales come right towards us, one on the port and one on starboard side. 

To use the word majestic to describe this event would be such an understatement.  The blue whale is the largest animal alive. A blue whale weights two hundred tons. Since I am a visual person, it helps me to imagine that is the same weight as forty elephants.  Their tongues alone weight as much as one elephant. 

They came so close to the boat at a speed I cannot describe, one on port, one on starboard. They were as long as the 100 foot boat. My cousin Danny, the captain, looked a little grim when he realized how close the whales got to the boat. Their spines came up, out of the water, as they were almost past and honestly it felt like they were only inches from the boat. Danny said later if they had both been closer it could have lifted the boat up. Both my niece and nephew were up top without life jackets at that moment. When I reflect on all the different elements of the majesty (and dangerous possibilities) of that moment my mind races.

We were in awe. We screamed, jumped up and down. We’re a pretty dignified bunch. I use that choice of adjectives in jest, but we’re not the kind that jumps up and down and cries. But we jumped up and down, cried and screamed.  It is one of the few things I have experienced in my life where awe is the only word to come close to describing the moment. I found the video on facebook to listen and watch again, today and was brought to tears again, with an awe for what God brought that day. Our conversation over our three hour dinner was about prayer. 

It was majestic, mesmerizing and really spoke to me about God hearing us. About to embark on the hardest year of my life, God heard my little but fervent prayer and used that to bring the largest animal on the planet to me. I don’t believe he did it only to show my family that yes, he heard, but that my faithful and fragile heart would need that reminder to sustain me through the next few years.  

Prayer was integral to my healing. I didn’t need a whale to help me pray more, nor to know prayer was deep and effective. But I think God knew how much I’d need the encouragement that year, when I spent most of Justin’s senior year feeling awful laying on the sofa most of the time and very guilty about not knowing why. The whale became my reminder of God hearing my prayers. 

I believe healing and wellness can be profoundly affected by your mind. Neuroscience fascinates me.  I believe healing (and sickness) can begin with the spoken word. It is so powerful.  Healing prayer, speaking the scriptures in the name of Jesus Christ could heal. Though I began studying towards a Naturopathy degree, it became the power of prayer that fascinated me.

 Before my diagnosis, my acupuncturist asked me upon meeting me “What was my healing goal?”  I said to be thinner. I was at wits end and crying throughout the appointment.  She said no, “Who do you want to be, when your healed?”  I was thinking  “great she’s a nut ball ” this isn’t therapy it’s acupuncture.  But she was very intuitive,  recommended the gastrointerologist who diagnosed my Lyme Disease.  I told her I needed to go pray about it. A picture came to my mind of me standing, thinly (wink!) in a white dress, sweet and strong. 

 My thyroid illness, made worse by Lyme,  was routed deeply in not feeling heard in some situations (according to various thought, thyroid issues mean not feeling heard, picture someone squeezing your throat).  Part of my healing was learning to communicate clearly and directly.  I came to realize that when I felt I wasn’t being heard I got stronger,  louder, and bolder. Sadly, I think I came across harshly.  So my healing goal: Sweet and strong. I had absolutely no idea what that all meant at the time. It has all come together in the healing,  strength and sweetness. 

 I went to healing conferences, healing rooms,  Hidden Manna, prayed with M & M each week. M & R, bi-monthly. I learned so much about healing, illness and oils. Forgiveness is the cornerstone of healing. I really had no idea.  The language of these prayers is very powerful. Speaking them out loud is very powerful. The choice of words themselves are powerful. Renouncing lies that have been spoken over you, releasing people from their offense, giving them back to God, blessing them.  It includes replacing what you let go with something else. I was blessed to be prayed for by friends from all over the country and several parts of the world. I had prayers for separate things, like migraines. They are mostly gone.  My adrenal fatigue was prayed over at my friend M’s house, by J., and I felt an electrical type charge that is indescribable and I fell to the floor. The next time my adrenals were tested the test was not  just improved, but 100% normal. I have the tests to prove it, not that I needed them. 

So, it is with much gratitude for the love I received on this journey. I am compelled to thank those who prayed for, over and with me. Thank you to my dear and precious friends who prayed for me while I was in the MRI tube, I literally felt the presence of God sustaining me each time like I was covered by big beautiful white wings. Thank you to my family (especially my mom and dad) who prayed  for me and in Catalina when I felt I was close to losing it completely laid hands on me at dinner and prayed blessing over me one by one. Thank you to M & M for being my trusted prayer warriors and helping me keep my eyes up and on God, not letting me get too discouraged. Thank you to my precious friends, who didn’t forget I was still here. Thank you to the dear, dedicated and brilliant doctors who helped me, some of whom are dear friends and did it on their own time. The time you took to meet with me and go over my charts, tests etc.. truly shows your heart for diagnosis and healing. 

Thank you to my best friend, my husband and my love: Scott. I know it was not easy, but I trust you and your big heart and brilliant mind. Thank you for helping me navigate.  We are so much better for this journey. Also, thank you to my darling/handsome and amazing; Hannah and Justin. You guys are my loves. 

My illness was caused by a tick bite, yes, but it was God that healed me. He healed me from a lot more than Lyme. To God be the glory. It was by His grace, alone. 










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6 comments :

Anonymous said...

Amazing Story!I too, have been fighting lyme for last 2 years and can relate to your story.Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope. I have recently moved from Chicago to WLV. Our mutual fund, Jamie King showed me your blog today. So grateful! I, too blog. www.thewhisperwithin.live The blog is about God powered strange coincidences.
I think this is another one of those circumstances. We share four things in common: lyme, blogging, Jamie, & of course the love of God & trusting him for the plan. I would love to connect, you can find me on FB at Lisa Riehm Schomer.
Beautiful Designs Roxanne!!!
Blessings to you, Lisa

Inspired Design said...

I look forward to it! Thank you…I hope you are feeling better. I will reach out to you and happy to share what worked for me, to kick it! :) Blessings, R

michaele shelley said...

As a sign of gratitude for how my husband was saved from pineal cyst , i decided to reach out to those still suffering from this.
My husband was diagnosed of pineal cyst, and it was really tough and heartbreaking for me because he was my all and the symptoms were terrible, he had weakness of the body , and he always complain of ringing in ears (tinnitus) and headache . we tried various therapies prescribed by our neurologist but none could cure him.one faithful day i decided to go for a researched and i saw a testimony by someone who was cured and so many other with similar brain problem, and he left the contact of the doctor who had the cure to pineal cyst. I never imagine pineal cyst has a cure not until i contacted him and he assured me my husband will be fine. I got the herbal medication he recommended and my husband used it and in one months time he was fully okay even up till this moment he is so full of life. pineal cyst has a cure and it is a herbal cure contact the doctor for more info on drwilliams098675@gmail.com on how to get the medication. Thanks for reading my testimony

TRISTINE TERESA said...

"Dear Williams, I wanted to drop you a note and say 'THANK YOU', from the bottom of my heart. I was browsing the Internet back in AUGUST this year looking for help, any help. I have been diagnosed with a pineal cyst of 7. mm that was extremely causing me a vision balance & headaches , painful especially at night before going to bed. Thankfully enough I accidentally came across Mrs shelley thanking dr williams for his medication. I thought I should give his medicine a try and if it worked then the thirty something bucks would have been worth it. I ordered his medicine and went to my local health store and bought the herbs and vitamins and the other more basic ingredients for his medicine and then started his medication that day. After 7 days I didn't see any change so I thought 'here we go again'. But it wasn't another disappointment. By the end of the 4th week on a bright Monday morning, all the pain,headaches and the awful bloated feeling just stopped. I immediately went and performed another scan and guess what? The pineal cyst of 7. mm was not there anymore. I was so happy!

Thanks to your advice, I now know how to prevent any future pineal cyst formation and the array of symptoms that goes along with it, including the headache unexpected seizure and visual disturbances. Thank you so much for everything!"for more information you can email him on drwilliam098675@gmail.com for advice and for his product.

NITA said...

MY NAME IS NITA,A LIVING CLAIM OF DR WILLIAMS HERBAL MEDICINE.

Dr Williams,herbal treatment is the best to shrink pineal cyst naturally.

Four months ago, I was scheduled an operation to remove a fairly large pineal cyst (approx. 8 mm), which had caused me a great deal of headache and tightness around my head. . My doctor insisted that there was no other choice but to go under the knife and I had reluctantly agreed (after trying several medications to decrease the size of the pineal cyst to no avail). It was approx. 2 months prior to the surgery when my husband comes across dr williams herbal remedies which my husband found and ordered for me online. With the help of my loving husband, I followed the step and procedure on how i should be taking it. and one months later I was scheduled for an scan check: it was shocking. The pineal cyst had completely gone, I had consulted my doctor and cancelled the surgery and with his dedicated counseling guidance I managed to completely treat the pineal cyst from my pineal gland , along with the pain and anxiety that this condition had inflicted on me. Thank you so much for your kind help DOCTOR,for more information on how to get his medication you can visit his blog on http://pinealcystnaturalcure.blogspot.com

SOPHIE LEWIS said...

I am Sophie from Canada, I once suffered from a terrible and Chronic pineal cyst ,since i was 30 , the doctor told me there was no permanent cure i was given medications to slow down its progress, i constantly felt my health was deteriorating as i constantly go out of breath,and this illness was really terrible especially when am going out with my friends, i have this constant disorder for about 15 years, this was really a terrible ailment ,on thin one day that i was going through the internet,and i came across a post of Mrs Shelley on how his husband was been cured from pineal cyst through the help of Dr Williams herbal product, I contacted this herbal doctor via his email and explain everything to him and make purchase of his product,few days later he sent me the herbal medicine through courier service, when i received the herbal medicine, i used it for 1 months as prescribed by Dr Williams and i was totally cured within those week of usage,on thin now i have not experience any sign or characteristics again . for more information you can email him on drwilliams098675@gmail.com for help

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